Bearshare

Me: "Why don't we start by getting me a remote connection to your computer?" 
Customer: "Why don't we start by you telling ME how to do it so you don't CHARGE me?"
Me: "Um, you're already a paying subscriber. Any work I do with you today under that subscription is free."
Customer: "Oh. Well, why don't I just... oh.... Well.... okay."
(A moment later, as I read him a URL to type into the browser):
Customer (reading back partial version of the web address): "... no, that took me to Bearshare."
I can hear his friend in the background calling him a shithead.


A few minutes later, it becomes clear that the reason they don't have an internet connection is that they failed to plug in their modem correctly.